Especially for Bosses!

It is half past 8pm in the office but the lights are still on...
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...
And who is at work? Most of them ???

Take a closer look...
All or most specimens are ??
Something male species of the human race...

Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...

And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!Any guesses???
Let us ask one of them... Here's what he says...
"What's there to do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee, that is why I am working late... Importantly no bosssss!!!!!!"

This is the scene in most research centers and software companies and other off-shore offices.
Bachelors "Time-passing" during late hours in the office just b'coz they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what are the consequences...
"Working" (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!). They aren't helping things too...

To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!! V
ery soon, the boss starts expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family...
office is no longer a priority, family is...
and......
That's when the problem starts...
b'coz u start having commitments at home too.
For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become an "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time...
after doing the same amount of work.
People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...
Girls who thankfully always (it is changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".
All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they are spoiling the work culture at their own place and never knowing that they wuld have to regret it at one point of time.

So what is the moral of the story??

* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!! *

Never put in extra time *unless really needed *
Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.
There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music...
Learn a foreign language...
Try a sport... TT, cricket.........
Importantly Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town...
* And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls).... and try cooking for a change ! Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*
Please pass on this message to all your colleagues.
And please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this !!!
IT IS A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FOR LONG HOURS MEANS WORKING VERY HARD & 100% COMMITMENT, ETC.
PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

Double Death!!!

Blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day, we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmly states, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know."

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.

He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!

He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now. Are you gonna be ok?"

"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister.

She told me that HER mom died too!"

A Good One!

How My Husband Broke His Arms....

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in.
Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point.



When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
He was gone only a few moments when he came out again.



He handed me a toothbrush. When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."

English In Hindi

Hollywood movies are often dubbed in hindi to reach wider audience in India. But the best thing about these movies is not what they're about. Instead, it's the imaginative titles that Indian distributors come up with that have us scratching our heads in amazement.

Here's a list of some of the weirdest movie titles that have been generated over the years...

Funny Ones

1.The Matrix Reloaded (keanu reeves) hindi title: Mayajaal

2. Matrix Revolutions (keanu reeves) hindi title: Mahasangram

3. Aliens (signourney weaver) hindi title: Anjaan Vinashak

4. The Sixth Day (Arnold Schwarzenegger) hindi title: Muqabla Arnold Ka

5. Kiss of the Dragon (Jet li) hindi title: Maut ka Chumma

6. Planet of Apes (Mark waglberg) hindi title: Vaanar Raj

7. Jeepers Creeprs (James avery) hindi title: Bhooka

8. Resident Evil (Milla jovovich) hindi title: Maut ka Bulawa

9. Dunstun Checks In. hindi title: Ek bandar hotel ke andar

10. Dude where is my car (Ashton Kutcher) hindi title: Ek Gaadi Do Anadi

11. Heartbreakers (jennifer love hewit) hindi title: Dil Fake Hasina

Hilarious Ones

12. Finding Nemo hindi title: Kho Gaya Nemo Aapne Dekha Kya?

13. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider hindi title: Sherni No 1

14. Bride of Chucky hindi title: Khooni Dulhan

15. Amazon Women hindi title: Joshilee Laila

16. Ping (Clint Howard) hindi title: Ek Kutta Do Chor

17. Sword Fish (John Travolta) hindi title: Baazigar Kaun ?

18. Beastmaster 11 - Through The Portal of Time (James Avery) hindi title: Ek Tarzan Shahar Mein.

And the Best One

House On Haunted Hill (Geoffrey Rush) hindi title: Kaun Bnaega Crorepati ..Bhoot Bangale ke Andar.

I'm still trying to figure out why this name????? Can U help!!!

Sick Leave Policy

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY

* SICKNESS

No excuse...
We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

* AN OPERATION

We are no longer allowing this practice.
We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

* DEATH

Other than your own.
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

* Your own death

This will be accepted as an excuse.
However, we require at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.

* ALSO

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again.

The Indian Effect!!

On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.

Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond"
Continuing in his inimitable style, "......James Bond."

Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James Bond

The Perception

He Vs She

1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.

The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.

2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.

HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain

3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal

SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.

4. HE's not at his desk.
He must be at a meeting.

SHE's not at her desk.
She must be in the ladies' room.

5. HE's not in the office.
He's meeting with customers.

SHE's not in the office.
She must be out shopping.

6. HE's having lunch with the boss.
He's on his way up.

SHE's having lunch with the boss.
They must be having an affair.

7. The boss criticised HIM.
He'll improve his performance.

The boss criticised HER.
She'll be very upset.

8. HE got an unfair deal.
Did he get angry?

SHE got an unfair deal.
Did she cry?

9. HE's getting married.
He'll get more settled.

SHE's getting married.
She'll get pregnant and leave.

10. HE's having a baby.
He'll need a raise.

SHE's having a baby.
She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits.

11. HE's going on a business trip.
It's good for his career.

SHE's going on a business trip.
What does her husband say?

12. HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.

SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable.

(MOST of them are true! Arent they ? )

Interesting

Bad Day

There's a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour.
Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.
First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me.
When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. "The police say they can do nothing.
I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there.
The cab driver just drives away.
I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener.
I leave home and come to this bar.

"And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Indian Airlines

You Can Trust Them

(CAN YOU???)

This is your captain PATEL (Boniface) welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of Indian Airlines.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off...it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.
This is flight 717 to Mumbai.
Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India.

And, if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
We have an excellent safety-record... In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary DHARU and Wada pavw.
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television.
However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Kingfisher Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane.
Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.... our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
"Thanking you all for choosing Indian Airlines to fly for the first and last time"

"INDIAN AIRLINES--a name u can trust!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who Misses Whom

Once, there was this guy, who was in love with a gal.
She wasn't the most beautiful and gorgeous but for him, she was everything.
He used to dream about her, about spending the rest of life with her. His friends told him,
"why do you dream so much about her, when you don't even know if she loves you or not?
First tell her your feelings, and get to know if she likes you or not".

He felt that was the right way. The girl knew from the beginning, that this guy loves her.

One day when he proposed, she rejected him.
His friends thought he would take to alcohol; drugs etc. and ruin his life.
To their surprise, he was not depressed.
When they asked him how was it that he is not sad, he replied, "'why should I feel bad? I lost one who never loved me & she lost the one who really loved and cared for her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A point of view...

Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.

From Miss Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Miss Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation, said,

"Land Mines".

Recruitment

Does your company have a problem in recruiting the right guy for the right chair?
If yes, try this simple experiment.

Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside.

Leave them alone, come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation:-

If they are counting and recounting the bricks
-Put them in Accounts Dept.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks
-Put them in Engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some other order
-Put them in Planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other
-Put them in Operations.

If they are sleeping
-Put them in Security

If they have broken the bricks into pieces
-Put them in Information Technology

If they are sitting idle
-Put them in Human Resource Dept . I

f they have thrown the bricks out of the window
-Put them in Materials Dept.

If they are clinging on to the bricks
-Put them in Treasury

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has moved
-Put them in Sales .

If they have already left for the day
-Put them in Marketing .

If they are staring out of the window
-Put them in the Export

And last but not the least...

If they are talking to each other and not a brick has been moved
-Put them in Top Management !!!

Prem Patra (Love Letter)

...........................Amazing...........................

Be India Proud!

FACTS TO MAKE EVERY Indian PROUD

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.


We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA ( 1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.


Some of the following facts may be known to you.

These facts were recently published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.

1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.

2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.

5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.

6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.

7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word "Navigation" is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.

8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.

9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.

10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.

11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.

12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

13. Chess was invented in India .

14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .

15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).

16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

Quotes About India

We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
-Albert Einstein.

India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
-Mark Twain.

If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India .
-French scholar Romain Rolland.

India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
-Hu Shih (former Chinese ambassador to USA )



ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.

BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.

I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA ..

The Rock or a Woman n Child Praying!

The secret is to tilt your head to the left until you see the reflection join the rock formation. You will see a woman and a child praying!